Best Foot

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First dates can be unnerving. The excitement, the uncertainty and raw nerves can easily get in the way and trip us up if we allow them. Often times it can be difficult trying to strike the right balance of conversation, attitude and behavior. While our mothers teach us to be on our best behavior when meeting someone new, our need to be true and honest to ourselves insists we should simply be who we are and "consequences be damned!"

Do we sit politely and hold our tongue, or do we open up and allow our date to see the good, the bad and the ugly all at once? We want to be loved for who we are - imperfections and all. Doesn't it make sense to show all of our faults right away so we can find a relationship with someone who will accept those imperfections right from the start?

In reality, there does exist a comfortable balance somewhere in the middle.

Certainly we should always be true to ourselves and honor both the person we are and the person we are becoming. Especially in dating, we can sometimes have a tendency to put our best foot forward in the beginning only to steadily decline as the relationship progresses, but we should always be putting our best foot forward in every day of our lives since life is about becoming the best version of you possible. It's a commitment to work toward and strive for each and every day, and it's not something that should make occasional appearances then disappear altogether.

If you find yourself on your best behavior during a first date with someone you really like, decide to make that best behavior your new usual behavior. If it's good enough for the first date, it's good enough for the fifth date and even the fiftieth date! No one likes to experience a bait and switch on a date with someone we like. They are quiet and polite with a comfortable flow of conversation, and we find ourselves enjoying their company only to learn several weeks later that their "real" personality is pushy, aggressive and caustic. That will only spell disappointment for all parties involved.

We shouldn't have to mask or try to hide our true spirit from anyone, but sometimes it's better to reveal yourself gradually so your inner layers can be seen for the interesting and unique puzzle that makes up you.

Definitely showcase all of your best qualities. Certainly don't try to hide your negative qualities, but do make a steady and determined effort to minimize those negative qualities. Let your awesome side shine through as much as possible until it eventually takes over. Allow your most positive traits and behaviors to take hold, blossom and expand until they fill up your entire being and you can be seen for how wonderful you truly are.

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Dating Conversation Taboos

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There are several topics of conversation which some would say are best to avoid in the beginning stages of a relationship. Truthfully, any and all subjects can be discussed if broached in a tasteful and respectful manner. Some of these taboo topics include former relationships, sex, money, politics and religion.

The quandary is that these same subjects are vital components of many people's lives and are areas which warrant discussion between any two people who have caught each other's fancies and intend to build a relationship. So how do we convey the information back and forth while avoiding any unwanted offense?

Religion and Politics

When the desire arises to discuss something of politics or religion, remember to be cautious and respectful. Many people are passionate about these areas of their lives, and they do not want to feel as though someone else is judging them or wishing to persuade them to a differing ideal. These subjects can generally be discussed insofar as politely inquiring about the other person's position and then hearing them out. Once their explanation is complete or if they in turn ask about your stance, it then becomes appropriate to offer your own opinion while taking care not to throw too much weight behind that opinion.

Some couples find a friendly debate to be one of the invigorating building blocks of their relationship. If that becomes the case, it will be uncovered soon enough once two people develop a healthy, trusting relationship where each person is allowed to be themselves even when the opinions vary. In the early stages, most people are glad to share views and compare notes but not too many want to delve into a heated debate while trying to enjoy a date with someone new.

Money

On the topic of money, it's never really polite to ask another person about their specific level of success. It can be acceptable for the individual to divulge whether or not they are financially secure, however. There's nothing wrong with a healthy love of money and pride in one's success, but extensive discussion about financial success can become tedious after too long. This is true of any topic that is discussed at exhaustive length.

Former Relationships
Until one of you says, "Tell me about your previous relationships" it's not usually a good idea to make mention of those previous relationships. They are a part of our past and hopefully a part of our learning curve. When dating someone new, the focus should be on them. No one wants to feel as though they are being compared to a past relationship, and no one wants to wonder if their date is bringing up an ex because they are still not over him or her.

Each new person that comes in your life is a new opportunity. Enjoy that person for who they are in that moment, and do not worry about the past. At some point it becomes appropriate to touch on the past as we come to know one another better, but those moments will typically arise organically.

Sex
This is another topic which will typically find its way into the conversation naturally. Unless this was the original and agreed upon intent of the date (by both parties), it's most appropriately discussed in the context of establishing expectations for a committed relationship.

With a little discretion and careful timing, you will find all subjects and easy to broach and comfortable to discuss.
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The Little Boy In All Men...

By LifeAdviceSite.com

Ah, men. They're big and strong. They don't cry when someone yells at them. They can carry twice as many grocery bags, and they're great to have around to kill creepy bugs and spiders. They can reach all the stuff in the high cupboards, and they have no trouble moving large pieces of furniture. They're helpful and capable (well, sometimes...) They hold degrees, have careers, support families and they can leap tall buildings in a single bound (well, some of them...) The extraordinary ones are able to go from negotiating mergers and heavy business dealings to picking up flowers on the way home for the wife and putting the kids to bed. Men are amazing. So how can they be so capable, so mature and responsible, then when you least expect it they end up acting like the problem child you never knew you had?

You know you've experienced these moments:

You're trying to settle the kids down or make dinner, and instead of helping, your husband is rolling around, getting everyone riled up and causing more stress and distraction.

Your boyfriend comes down with a cold and suddenly shrivels up into a whining, pathetic, sniffling creature. You get him soup and tea and cough medicine and blankets and juice. When he begs for tissues, you're tempted to throw the Kleenex box at his head.

You've been out all day and haven't had time to stop for lunch. As he grows hungry and tired, you see his mood drop faster than your 5-year old's. He starts whining about a headache and being hungry. Unless you're talking about a meatball sub, he can't hear anything you're saying.

Why do they sometimes act like children in need of coddling? Well, the sad truth is that sometimes they do need coddling. Actually, guys are not unique in this; we all need a little coddling now and then. When I've had a bad day, all I want is care. My man simply puts his arms around me and shows sympathy, and my frustration begins to melt away. If he goes out of his way to cater to me by bringing me dinner or taking me out for ice cream, it can heal all my ails. When he's dragging, I give him a little extra care. I cook something I know he'll like for dinner, whip up a batch of cookies, or rub his shoulders while we watch TV. When he's sick, I wait on him and take care of him in any way I can until he gets well.

It's not easy seeing the men we love weak and vulnerable, and sometimes it's hard to take over the responsibilities so he can chill out or relax and play a video game. If you can find a way to do it for an appreciate guy who deserves it, chances are he will love you all the more for it.

As grown ups, we are saddled with so many responsibilities and so much we have to do on a daily basis that once in a while, we just need to let go and be taken care of. Men, big strong burden-bearers they are, need this too. If we can get past their neediness and overlook what seems to be his shirking of responsibility, we will find a little nurturing goes a long way. Hopefully, he will appreciate being taken care of and will bounce back renewed and refreshed.

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Practice Confidence To Teach Confidence

As a parent, your sole responsibility is to raise a healthy, happy child who will grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted adult capable of contributing to society and governing their own affairs effectively and to a successful end.

One of your main areas of concern as a parent is in teaching your child to have a positive self-image and to instill within them the confidence to be and achieve all that they want in life. You want them to believe in themselves and in their own abilities. You want them to feel they are amazing, beautiful inside and out, strong, and absolutely capable of anything and everything. You want to give them the knowledge that they can achieve whatever they want in life because you know if you are able to impart that knowledge to them, they will indeed go on to achieve whatever they want in life.

Most parents believe that the best way to do so is to support and encourage their children in all of their endeavors. You praise your child's efforts and bestow compliments and words of encouragement whenever possible. This is hugely important, and it is my sincere wish that all parents actively incorporate these vital skills into their parenting. It is crucial to raising happy, healthy children

There is another aspect to this particular spectrum of parenting, however, that many don't even realize. When teaching your child to have a positive self-image and confidence in their abilities, your own self-image and the confidence you yourself possess in your own abilities, talents and skills, may be even more important to display in front of your children than the lessons you try to teach them. It seems that very often, despite the best intentions, our children more frequently "do as we do" rather than "doing as we say".

Think about it. You are a mirror to your child. Each and every day you are putting your stamp on who they will become by what you do and say to your child and in front of your child. They look up to you as a role model for what they should become, and they look to you for guidance and direction on what they should do and say. When you attempt a new task and your failure causes you to get frustrated and give up, your child makes a mental note of that, whether either of you realize it or not. When you're faced with a new challenge and hesitate to tackle it, or brazenly declare that you can't do something, your child will begin to accept these examples as basic, reasonable limitations, and eventually, they will assimilate these limitations into their own life and choices.

By comparison, if you approach each new challenge with a willing spirit of "I can" or at the very least, "I'll try", your child will learn those behaviors, and begin to model that attitude and that willing spirit instead. As practice makes perfect, the more willing they are to try, the more often they will try, and the more likely they will be to eventually succeed. That success will bolster their self-confidence to take on more and bigger challenges, and with your support and encouragement, their successes throughout life will snowball.